Truth: I’m a Travel Blogger with a Fear of Flying

Traveling is my passion. I travel, a lot. I love to hop, skip, and jump around the globe but sometimes getting there is a problem for me. The truth? I have a fear of flying!

In Flight

I know; it’s ridiculous. I’m a travel blogger because I love traveling. I’ve taken 39 flights since April 2014 when I quit my job to travel. Traveling is my thing. Still, I’m afraid.

It wasn’t always like this. I used to be a fearless kid who thought she was invincible, but that’s just not the case anymore. I remember exactly the first time I started feeling anxious was when I was returning from spring break in Jamaica with my best friends in 2010. I started to feel claustrophobic and anxious despite the short duration of the flight. I internalized the feeling without telling anyone, but I was freaking out inside. That anxious feeling of being stuck in one place until the end of the flight has haunted me ever since.

Airport

And turbulence. I hate turbulence. I always think the worst when my flight encounters turbulence. I start to think about what the last things were that I said to my family and loved ones and all the things I haven’t yet accomplished in life. This sounds dramatic but it’s hard to think anything else in the moment! I read up on it; I know turbulence is random and to be expected, but it is certainly not fun to experience.

When I returned from backpacking through parts of Southeast Asia, I was magically bumped up to business class on my leg from Hong Kong to New York. I was given champagne, the food was delicious, and the fancy headphones for entertainment were awesome; I felt like a celebrity. When I went to sleep, I reclined so that I could sleep horizontally and was ready for some shut-eye on the 16 hour flight, which is one of the longest flights that anyone can take.

Flying home in style

Then the turbulence hit. I experienced a few hours of constant turbulence and truly thought I was going to be meeting with my maker at any moment. It was terrifying, but eventually subsided and I fell asleep. When I awoke, it was as if nothing had happened. In fact, the man sitting across the aisle from me said he didn’t even notice it during the night! It blew my mind.

Above the clouds

That’s the worst experience I’ve had until recently. I jumped on a quick flight from Barcelona to Madrid. What was supposed to be a 75 minute fight turned into a 4 hour ordeal.

It started with a “minor” problem underneath the plane that took an hour to fix while all passengers waited on board. Then when we were finally in flight we were ready to descend on Madrid, we ended up circling the airport for an hour and no one told the passengers why. I started to get very nervous since the flight attendant announced we’d be landing any minute and never did. When we finally did descend, forceful turbulence shook the plane so much, I began thinking the worst once again. The mysterious loud sounds coming from underneath the plane certainly didn’t help. Luckily, I was seated next to a sweet Spanish woman who actually held my hand to soothe me as the tears started welling up in my eyes and we shared a few choice Spanish words about the flight attendants who hadn’t given us any information about what was going on.

Usually I internalize these fears, but this time, I just couldn’t help it. I was scared. The feeling of helplessness just wouldn’t dissipate. The heartbreaking plane crashes that have occurred in the last year or so certainly don’t help with my fear.

Madrid Airport

The statistical truth? Flying is safer now than it has been in a long, long time. I’ve heard that, then I researched it, and I believe it. And yet, statistics don’t really help me when my plane is moving every which-way.

Up in the air

To abate my fear of flying, I do a few things:

I meditate. I close my eyes, take deep breaths and meditate. Usually I say a Hindu prayer that I learned as a child. Honestly, it helps to take my mind off of what’s going on around me.

I force myself to sleep. I try to sleep as much as I can on flights, and if I can’t, I pretend. I’m only fooling myself, but sometimes it actually works.

I divert my attention. For long flights, I actually feel more comfortable and I read or watch movies. When unexpected turbulence hits, I focus instead on transporting myself from the airplane to the story.

Most importantly…

I assert myself. I tell myself that today is not my final day. I haven’t seen enough of the world, and it hasn’t seen enough of me.

Are you afraid of flying? How do you tackle that fear, or any other?

6 Comments

  1. May 12, 2015 / 8:37 pm

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one! Everyone assumes that because you love travel, you also love flying. Nope! I fly because otherwise it would be very difficult for me to travel very far outside the UK, I fly because it’s a means to an end. But I never start relaxing until that plane has touched down in my destination (or back on home soil again).

    I always hoped that my fear would lessen the more I flew but I think all these plane crashes in the media lately have only heightened that fear once again. No matter how many times I tell myself that statistically it’s the safest way to travel, it just never seems to sink in. Travelling 35,000 feet above ground just doesn’t FEEL safe!! I feel your pain :-/
    Kiara Gallop recently posted…The Uros Islands and Taquile: Exploring the Peruvian Side of Lake TiticacaMy Profile

    • May 13, 2015 / 9:36 pm

      I agree – flying is a means to travel around the globe but still somehow over the past few years I’ve grown less and less comfortable with it. But it still isn’t going to stop me from seeing the world!
      Lavi recently posted…Truth: I’m a Travel Blogger with a Fear of FlyingMy Profile

  2. May 13, 2015 / 5:14 pm

    I hear ya, girl. I know it’s irrational, but after 9/11 I got so afraid of flying. Luckily it doesn’t stop me from traveling (yet), but each time I get on a plane I’m a little more anxious than the last. Especially after a recent plane crashed that took off from Barcelona—I flew to Prague 4 days later and was gripping my seat the whole flight.
    Jenny | A Thing For Wor(l)ds recently posted…How I Changed Teaching Programs and Renewed my Spanish Residency Without Returning to the U.S.My Profile

    • May 13, 2015 / 9:43 pm

      I took a flight that week too and was so nervous! I gripped the armrest so hard on that flight back from Barcelona after TBEX that it hurt my hands. I’m so glad I’m not the only traveler with such a fear!
      Lavi recently posted…Truth: I’m a Travel Blogger with a Fear of FlyingMy Profile

  3. June 4, 2015 / 10:59 am

    I can relate to this and I feel you! I still love flying I really do – landing and takeoffs are the best part for me – but there’s still that fear. It never goes away.

    • June 5, 2015 / 7:22 pm

      The landings and takeoffs are the WORST part for me! I have a mini anxiety attack every time! But I do love that flying gets me where I need to go! I don’t think I’ll ever be so scared that I stop traveling altogether.
      Lavi recently posted…Through My Eyes: May 2015My Profile

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